Mar 6 - daytrips and durian and dolphins, oh my!

It's been a while since I posted. Now it feels like there is so much to tell that I don't know where to start. I have had a truly rich experience of Hawaii. I am not kidding when I say that everything I wished for on this trip...and more, came true.

-I bonded with my family
-I swam almost every day in many beautiful spots with colourful fish, green sea turtles amd more
-I ate at least one fresh papaya and one beautiful ripe local avocado a day
-I had some rich touching moments with my aging grandma
-I bought the most beautiful locally made koa wood ukulele which I have named Mele (Hawaiian for Merry)
-I played music with my father and had fun doing it
-I made tons of delicious raw meals many which my whole family enjoyed and were inspired by to create once they are back home
-I enjoyed durian for the first time ever, maybe it tasted better because it was organic and local and truly ripe?
-I soaked up a fair amount of sun, but didn't get burnt other than a little bit one day
-I played for hours with my amazing little brother
-I met a woman that must have been my sister or mother or something in a past life because we just...know each other, and I feel like I have met a new lifelong friend and possibly an artistic collaborator
-and the most amazing thing...I swam with wild spinner dolphins! This has been a lifelong dream that just spontaneously took place. Here is the story:

My aunt Helen, who lives in Australia, came out for the family reunion and a few days ago we decided to spend a girls day together. She was staying with a friend just above a place called the City of Refuge who just happens to be a photographer who regularly swims with and photographs dolphins and whales. While we were there her friend came out and said she had got a call that the dolphins were down in the bay. So Helen and I quickly packed up our masks and the one pair of flippers we had between us and drove down. At first we didn't see anything but then we saw a couple little puffs of breath and a black fin out in the bay. We donned our gear (one flipper each) and paddled out, not sure what to expect. The water was the bluest water you have ever ever seen, with these amazing shafts of sunlight piercing through. There were fish and turtles everywhere, but we just kept paddling out towards those fins (which shows how much I wanted to swim with dolphins as I have always had an unnatural phobia to sharks and consequently many nightmares about being approached in the water by dark dorsal fins). After a few minutes I saw a black and white shape appear in the blue, first one, then another, then another. Then I started to hear excited little clicks and calls. We had thought there might be one or two dolphins there but soon we were surrounded by about 100 wild dolphins!!! I lay there, inert and totally amazed, thanking the dolphins and the universe repeatedly, as they slowly swam closer and closer. They seemed to get more and more familiar with us the longer we were out and eventually some swam so close I could have touched them if I had reached out. There were moms and babies, mated pairs making love, playful youngsters playing tag and passing yellow leaves in the same way we would pass a ball. Sometimes they would all go deeper than I could see and I would be floating in this blue abyss alone and then all of a sudden 40 or 50 would rise up from bellow towards the surface circling us and looking us in the eye as they swam past. It was truly one of the most amazing experiences of my life! I felt like I was in the presence of the Dali Lama or some other great guru. They had that energetic combination of total calm and peace while at the same time great joy, wisdom and energy. I was completely relaxed the whole time and never felt afraid, in fact felt completely safe. I kept repeating to myself "stay in the moment, stay in the moment." as my mind would get so excited thinking: I wish my mom were here to see this, I wish my cousins hadn't left yet, I wish my dad and brother were here!

There were many other fantastic moments and magical experiences of the past two weeks but this one took the cake. I have some pictures to share but I've run out of time so I will post them soon. Tonight Jasper, my dad and I take a red eye flight back to Vancouver and the Hawaiian part of our adventure will come to a close. Though I feel sad about leaving this beautiful island I feel like I bonded to it in a way I never had before and something is telling me I will return sooner than I think.

Aloha to everyone. I'll sign off by sharing my message from the universe I received today: www.tut.com (such a cool site!)

The very best moment in any long journey that makes your dreams come true, Ariel, comes not on the day you realize they have, but on the day you realize how little they matter compared to loving the adventure they've inspired. Don't ask me why, I just know what I know -
The Universe

Feb 23 - happiness is a box of papayas...or maybe a footbal sized avocado

I'm in Hawaii! Really, what could be more amazing than that? Yeah, you're wondering, but is it really everything they always say it is? Well yes, it is. Here's my list of wonderful things I have experienced in the past two and a half days:

-Seeing my dad and little brother for the first time in 2 years, bursting into tears when my brother draped himself in my arms like a Raggedy Andy doll
-Sunshine, sunshine, sunshine
-Playing music with my dad, picking up the violin for the first time in years...and the whistle...and my country singer voice...where did all this musical confidence suddenly come from?
-Fresh papayas, avocados, pineapple, local greens...I could go on
-Making raw chocolates with my little brother (so umm yeah, the "cleanse" is now officially over with a substantial amount of avocados and homemade raw chocolate now appearing in my diet...more about this transition in a bit)
-Humpback whales: both mamas and babies, doing full breaches out of the water
-Swimming with a sea turtle (and touching it by accident, which, due to a completely unreasonable phobia of sharks, really freaked me out until I saw what it was)
-Random encounters w lovely people like the woman today who I think might be my Hawaiian fairy godmother, who just happened to sit beside us, share in raw chocolate and learn that we're both into the same type of natural healing using horses, the only other person I've ever met who is
-Buying a box of local produce filled with papayas, strange greens, a pineapple, etc. for $30!
-Watching my brother going from being scared of the water to boogie boarding by himself, in 2 days!
-Catching a wave w a body board
...the list could go on. And I still have 12 more days to go!

My trip over was quite smooth. Having been a little apprehensive about traveling raw it's so far proved to be just fine. I brought a stash of fresh and dried fruit, some green powders, superfoods, and other goodies. Some in my suitcase for use over the two weeks and others in my carry on to sustain me on the plane. This is my lunch on the ferry. As I looked around at my neighbors all enjoying their $12 White Spot lunches I really didn't feel like I was missing much. On the plane I survived on water, cranberry juice and smuggled dried figs.

Now traveling raw might be hard some places, but if you're going to do it, well Hawaii is probably the best place ever! A funny thing is how the locals look at me like I'm crazy when I'm loading up on the bounty this island offers. The urban harvesting possibilities are endless! The couple that sold me the $30 of produce were giggling and looking at me with looks that said: how can one girl possibly eat all that fruit and greens? I just grinned at them like a gleeful kid in a candy shop, especially after they added a bunch of free papayas to the stack.

The past two days have been magical. Serendipitous things keep happening, wonderful gifts offered, friendly people popping up. It's pretty great what the world will offer when you're moving through it with a big smile and joy for the beauty of the moment (which hasn't been difficult here).

So: my decision to re-insert the raw goodies back into my diet. Well it just sort of happened. The night before leaving I went to see David Wolfe talk in Victoria, which was inspiring! And they had all these chocolate goodies and his book Naked Chocolate there and the best quality cacao for sale and I just thought well, I guess this is the right time. I suddenly got this image of making chocolate and raw deserts for my family while in Hawaii and that I wouldn't want to if I wasn't going to eat them. I thought about how much my family would enjoy them, you get the picture...so I ate some chocolate. And after that...there was no turning back! I haven't been pigging out on nuts or anything, still keeping it good and green and fruity, but I have been enjoying the macadamia nuts grown by the man who owns the amazing little cottage we're renting. And we made chocolate, goji berry, macadamia nut bark. Jasper (my brother) was so in to it, telling Dad over and over "we're making chocolate from scratch!" and he ate tons! I felt really happy knowing that, though it was a treat, it was good for him and I could just let him enjoy it.

So that's the story of that. I feel good in my body and happy with this decision. And though I kind of wish I will be joining the beginning of the global juice feast this seems like the right move for me in this moment. I'm also already thinking of doing another juice feast later in the spring or summer. Also, let's not forget that eating raw is like living a cleanse, so things are still shifting and healing, just not at the rapid pace of a few weeks ago.

As you may have noticed I have changed the name of the blog. It didn't seem like Ariel's Juice Journey made sense now that I am no longer subsisting on just juice. But at the same time I don't want to get a new web address. So here we have it; the new name...and maybe a new header picture soon, but same address. So you'll still know where to find me.

Here's a few pics of the trip so far. Wish you could all be here, I don't think my goofy grin will wear off any time soon. I had a moment of feeling guilty today because everyone I love isn't enjoying this too. One of those "you don't deserve all this" thought patterns. Then I thought: forget that! I had a hard year, I've worked hard, even if I haven't "worked" I've still WORKED, and I DO deserve this. I decided the best thing I could possibly do is enjoy every moment.

Anyways, as Jasper likes to say: that's it for now. More adventure tales soon!

Here's my lovely little family from the East Coast (and if you live in Victoria that doesn't mean Toronto, that means Newfoundland).
































I like to call this one: Bliss on a Beach

Feb 19 - 2 more sleeps until Hawaii!!!

Sun sun sun...I am dreaming of this thing called warmth, of the feeling of the sun on my skin, of the taste of fresh papaya and fresh coconut water and fresh ocean swimming and a hug from my dad and little brother whom I haven't seen in 2 years!!! Can you tell I'm excited?! It's going to be a crazy few days what with all the traveling and the flying, so I'll probably be exiting blogland for a bit. But there's supposed to be internet on the island so I'll try to re-plug soon. Heavens knows what would happen if I didn't click away for too long, can humans live without computers anymore?

Did I mention how excited I am about the sun? Vitamin D...yumm

I'll try to take some real pretty pictures to share on my next entry.

Question: Does anyone think it's bad to keep this juice blog name when I'm no longer fully juicing? I've been wondering if I should change domains...but people are just starting to get to know this site...hmmm, conundrum.

Okay folks. Sending you love and a few silly sun quotes to warm your day.

“Today a new sun rises for me; everything lives, everything is animated, everything seems to speak to me of my passion, everything invites me to cherish it”
Ninon de Lenclos

“I just told you my dreams and you made me see that I could walk into the sun and I could still be me and now I can't deny nothing lasts forever.”
Anonymous

“Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us”
Samuel Smiles

“These things I warmly wish for you Someone to love, some work to do, A bit o' sun, a bit o' cheer, And a guardian angel always near”
An Irish Blessing

“Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain't goin' away.”
Elvis Presley

Feb 18 - Life's ongoing challenges

I've given up counting days. I never have been one to stick to the facts. It just ain't my style I guess. It's funny how throughout this cleansing/healing process a day where I feel really good is often followed by a day where I feel really low. Today is one of the latter. My low days also seem to correspond with the day after I run up against criticism or conflict with someone regarding my health decisions. Funny...I don't want to be so sensitive to the comments and opinions of others, and yet even when I feel mentally strong in my choices, my physical sensations always give away how worn out I am after defending myself to the world. Maybe it's because I don't have a large reserve of energy built up yet. Or because I still feel fragile after a year of essentially hiding in my little cottage, contact with the outer world being far too intense for my battered body and soul

I've always liked to think of myself as one tough cookie (if you'll excuse the lame expression). You know: jumpin' on the back of a horse, totin' a big gun (or camera), ridin' into the mountains and survivin' off of roughage for months alone. The truth that I'm slowly beginning to admit is that, though I have a strong will and would never describe myself as wimpy, I am a very soft person. For a few months in the fall I was practicing Qi Gong with a group here in Victoria and my instructor at one point compared me and another girl, saying we paired well because she was so Yang and I was so Yin. I was shocked. Yin, me? A girl? Really? When I started thinking about this I realized how much more feminine I am than I have ever admitted. That got me thinking: How do you navigate this world as a woman when you don't fit into the "girly" category, as in I don't purr for large muscly men and I'm really not into being chatted up at a bar...and yet I'm not a "tomboy" either. But then again, what the hell do those labels mean anyways?

Ok...where am I going with this? My point is that I have been thinking about how, having been raised in a household with strong feminist beliefs, having been told that being a woman no longer restricts my choices in life, having grown up traveling alone, fending for myself and in the end working my ass off to prove that I don't need nobody...how do I marry that with the fact that I love to knit, get the utmost pleasure out of feeding just about anything, and really love it when I'm sitting inside creating something while there's a man outside my window chopping wood? Am I just recreating a society drawn female cliche? Are daughters of feminists aloud to keep house? Have we gone so far to prove that we're as strong and tough as the men that we're literally making ourselves sick? I am not the only woman my age I know in a cycle of some sort of burnout. In fact, I am thinking of starting a support group for women who have fallen into this gray area of creative, highly intelligent and intensely sensitive souls. Women full of passion and good intent, but living in what is still a patriarchal driven society that does not support a yin way of life. Is it any surprise that all things yin seem to be making a comeback? Yin yoga, slow food, process vs. the final goal. I spent four years at art school trying to peel the layers of my thoughts about this subject. And do you know how I did this? By working twelve hours a day, six days a week, non-stop until I was so tired it has taken me a year to get some semblance of strength back.

Ok, this entry has somewhat strayed from the subject of juice. But I think it's okay because what we're talking about is another side of creating total health. These are the deeper challenges of creating lasting health and a lifestyle that will support that, regardless of how we are constantly push push pushed. I am finding that being out in the world and maintaining a flow of love and balance is Much more difficult when I'm not hiding in a cottage or running to live in the mountains. But I'm determined not to give up. I believe in us sensitive yin folk, both women and men! I say it's time for the intuitive, creative types to take a stand, I mean look at the world, the other way is really not working out for us.

And my first step? Acknowledging that yes, I am feminine. I am soft and can be gentle and sometimes need to move slowly. I do feel it deeply when I am criticized, but that doesn't mean I'm wimpy or that I will give up. And I am strong. Strong and bold and ready to be an active and giving part of society.

Oh god. Is this entry my new manifesto or something? We're all going to be holding hands and singing songs in a minute. No really, I won't let that happen. That was my mother's generation. Even though I've outed my femininity it doesn't mean that I don't still love to jump on a horse and ride up the side of a mountain with a gun strapped to my saddle.

This is my Monday self portrait.
Hawaii in three days,
I had to get some sunglasses!
Love and warmth to all.
May we all be exactly as we are...
for at least a few moments every day.

Day 33 - First meal

It is right to keep counting days? Maybe I should have started back at #1 when I moved into modified juice feasting...ah well. I think it still counts. I'm still ingesting only fruits and veggies and a few supplements. It's just that some are solid now while others are still in liquid form. Mostly I'm eating what could be called green baby food, so it ain't like I'm back on french fries or anything. Not that I have any plans on doing that ANY time in the near future!

So today was a momentous day! After four days of smoothies, soups (essentially savory smoothies) and juices, today I ate my first salad. It was DEEEEELicious. But I also felt mixed about it. Apprehensive about putting solids in my system after such a long time of easily digestible meals. After years of bad digestion I really don't want to go there again. In order to make it a good experience I did a few things. First I took time to make the salad, really trying to keep focused on the task of preparing the food with love. Then I blessed the meal and my body for taking it in. Then I took about 45 minutes to eat it, eating with chopsticks and chewing slowly to make sure I got the most out of it and digested it easily. I like eating salads with chopsticks for this reason. It forces you to eat one item at a time and taste each bite. Also there's something nice about eating with wood instead of metal. If nothing else, you'll never get that awful tang when the fork hits your teeth.

The past few days have been pretty great. I attended yet another juice party. This time the ladies juiced lunch at our friend Bronwyn's, who is just about to start her own 92 day juice feast! *snaps for Bronwyn!!* She will be blogging her experiences at: http://www.juicepulpnonfiction.blogspot.com
She bought a Samson juicer, which claims to do just about everything you ever need: make veggie, fruit and wheatgrass juice, make nut mylk, kim chi, pate, nut butter...you name it.
It's pretty much a magic machine. We put Samson to the test and he passed with rainbow flying colours!!! When I get enough money, that is the juicer for me. The juice was SO tasty (I have to admit, much tastier than blender made juice...not faster, but tastier). What Juices did we make you ask? Grapfruit, garlic, cilantro (heavy on the cilantro) I think this juice is one of the best discoveries of my feast. I used to HATE cilantro, now I adore it. And garlic with grapefruit is the weirdest but most surprisingly wonderful combination. Our second juice, for a Valentines special: blood orange and mint.

Here's Bronwyn, hangin with her new friend Samson.

All in all it was a fantastic party and we're sure to have many more over the next 100 or so days! Bronwyn is doing her feast in conjunction with The Global Juice Feast starting March 1. I haven't mentioned this yet and it's about time! David and Katrina Rainoshek are hosting the first Annual Global Juice Feast where people from around the world will be simultaneously juicing, healing and supporting each other through the online venue http://www.globaljuicefeast.com and within their local communities. It's very exciting! You can join the site for free and then go to http://www.juicefeasting.com for all the information on how to complete your juice feast. Whether you want to do it for 2 days or 92 it doesn't matter, everyone's just there to be a part of an amazing healing movement.

I have less than a week until I leave for Hawaii and I must say I'm getting very excited to see my family, soak up the sun and explore all the fresh produce to be found. I'm still feeling quite bright and full of energy. I had a little low point today, a result of getting too excited about being up and doing too much. But after a rest, some max stress vitamin B and dancing to a good hip hop song, I feel rejuvenated
and ready to get dressed up for a wacky mesh party taking place in Victoria tonight. There's nothing like taking the worst style ever and making a theme out of it, it's gonna be hot!

Yesterday I had a fantastic Valentines. I decided that since this past year has been the year of dating myself, it was only fitting to take myself out for some fun. I bought a lovely pair of earrings, attended a super cute art opening at Studio 161/2 in Fan Tan Alley (check out the show Frankie n' Eddie, it's great!) and then went to a pub with a bunch of other singles where we exclaimed over our joy at being free and unnattached, writing our thoughts in heiku. The best one of the night was Jenny's:

Stinky boys ugly
I used to like them a lot
Lately, not so much

Happy happy Shmalentines to you all. I say we officially make it the day of loving ourselves!

Day 31

I love smoothies! I love greens!

The past two days have been wondrous. Somehow transitioning back to blended smoothies has caused this shift in my energy and a great sense of wellbeing. I'm feeling clean and strong while at the same time really enjoying the flavour and texture of these simple, wholesome, delicious smoothies. I'm still starting my day with water, MSM and lemon. Followed next by a big glass of green green juice. That routine is one I hope to continue as I've never really liked eating something with density in the first couple of hours after waking. I used to start my day with a cup of sweet, milky black tea. It would give me the comfort factor, but then I would feel dopey and puffy and my blood sugar would inevitably crash a few hours later. Starting with a green juice does the opposite. I feel even and happy and hopeful. Then around 10 am I make my lovely smoothie, with all sorts of scrumptious ingredients. Here's an example recipe of my favorite smoothie:

1 c. blueberries or blackberries
1 banana
1 apple or pear
1/2 Lb spinach (about 1/2 big bunch)
1/2 c. filtered water
1 tsp spirulina
1 Tbs E3 live
1 tsp maca powder
1 Tbs Greens plus
1 Tbs bee pollen (best food in the world! thank you bees)
a pinch of celtic sea salt (good minerals)

Blend it up nice and smooth! (jack even blended the blackberry seeds, *snaps for jack*) I've been eating my smoothies in a bowl with a spoon. This is great to give a sense of "eating" instead of drinking, it encourages me to chew (which is important even when you're ingesting liquid because it stimulates your digestive enzymes) and the bowl trick slows me down.

It is a beautiful sunny day here in Victoria and I feel so...alive! I know, what a cliche I've become hey? One of those damn happy people! Out to tell you how I changed my life and now I feel great, bla bla bla. Well guess what, it's true! Not that there aren't days which are hard. It's just, I guess my thinking around challenges has changed this year. I've had to breath and be patient through so many long, drawn out discomforts; whether it was extreme fatigue, depression, feeling isolated, gaining weight, sitting in excruciating meditation postures, having terrible indigestion...well you get the picture. It's like anything; when you go through something really difficult it's the most amazing experience because afterwards you appreciate just feeling okay. NOT being in pain is amazing! But I guess sometimes it takes extreme pain to teach us that. Sometimes I think most of us get sick in order to learn this lesson, and it's one of those lessons we seem to have to learn over and over. I'm know I haven't seen the last of my friend Pain, but how I greet him is different. I don't want to scream "Go Away!" and hide under the covers anymore. Now I want to sit down and have a chat, find out what he's here for, listen to him as patiently as I can and wish him well when he's got it all out of his system. I guess what I'm trying to say is he's gonna come and go so I might as well enjoy the sunshine and fresh fruit. Sorry Graydon, I just can't pretend to be a cynic anymore. I guess I just juiced that girl right out of me.

Love and warmth to everyone. May you make the most of whatever moment you're in!

PS. It seems every day I find about 5 more links to other inspiring bloggers. I know the list is getting long, but please, check them out, there is a wealth of knowledge, recipes and excited people to eavesdrop on out there.

Day 29

Hello lovelies!

My my, it has been a very full few days! Where to start? Last week was a pretty intense week, but great none the less. I came out of it feeling like I purged and let go of a lot of baggage and feeling stronger and more centered than I have in ages. I also woke up yesterday with a strong message from my body that I was ready to transition into a modified juice feast. This surprised me because I had decided to keep going on just juice for another 30 days. But for the past three of four days I got hungrier and hungrier while at the same time the thought of juice was making me nauseous. Then all the juices started tasting really bitter and weird. Amazing how our bodies can send such strong signals!

So after a good conversation with David and Katrina Rainoshek we all agreed that I should listen to my body and start transitioning today back into blended smoothies and eventually to blended soups and some salads and fresh fruit. I felt a little mixed
about not going the full 30 days, but I've decided that it's more important to follow my intuition than to push myself just for the sake of pushing. It's that sort of thinking that drove me to burning out and getting sick in the first place. My body and I have been having some pretty open, honest conversations this past month and I'm trying to be very respectful of the communication that I have finally developed with myself.

So! Yesterday I did a couple of things to celebrate the successful completion of my first juice feast. First: I made the yummiest juices all day, and really ENJOYED them, thanking life and my body as I drank for all the health and healing we have accomplished in just 28 days. Second: I had a juice toast with my parents, complete with pineapple, blood orange filled wine glasses. This was particularly symbolic as it's been my family that's had the hardest time accepting my choice to go through this experience. But they have really shifted their views over the past week which felt like a big accomplishment. And third: I went over to my friend Robyn's house and we had a lovely dinner juice party with main course and dessert juices. Here are some pictures. The juices were so good:





Dinner: tomato, spinach, celery, carrot, cilantro, garlic
Dessert: red grape, pineapple, lemon, ginger (this tasted like ginger lemonade and is SO good!!!)

Now...it's Monday! And you know what that means. Time for the stats!

Here we go:

Weight: 136 Lbs -4 this week...I guess that's the water fasting - at 5"7 I'm now in my target healthy weight range. I'm feelin pretty darn happy about that, working on feeling satisfied with where I am right now, in this moment. *snaps for the moment!*

Skin: pretty darn smooth, face is much clearer. the Hawaiian sun should help too

Mood: even and happy. feeling optimistic, proud of myself and excited for the next stage of this process

Energy: 8/10 This weekend I went out and "did" stuff for the first time in a while. Socialized, had fun, got things done. It felt really great.

BMs: I know I haven't talked about this in a while. Well today I performed my last enema. The past week or so I have continued with 1/day to keep the toxins moving on out, but now that I'm re-introducing fiber into my diet that should take care of itself all on its own. I think my family's pretty happy about that...and I'm glad I won't be performing enemas in the shared bathroom in Hawaii.

Immune System: I'm still mucus-y and stuffed up, but getting better. I'm going to up my probiotic dose this week to 2/day to help boost my immune system. I feel strong though, and I'm hoping my days as a chronically sick lil lady are coming to a close

The Cold Factor: Still feeling the chill, but less than before. My body is warming up faster on its own and I'm able to do more heat building things like Ashtanga again

High Points of the Week: joining the www.globaljuicefeast.com community, receiving an email from Anthony the raw model (oh my!), lots of supportive comments and emails from friends and other raw foodies, and generally having FUN! (remember fun?)

This whole year has been such an amazing learning process. I think I'm getting to be a bit of an expert in curing depression and burnout, after hundreds of hours of reading, trying different methods, sampling different techniques. And the better I get, the more I think about working within a healing field, using what I have learned to help others overcome labeled "chronic" or "incurable" illnesses. I'm feeling so inspired to use my photography, art and writing to take me further down this path. I've also been thinking about becoming a Juice Feasting Consultant. I may or may not have mentioned before that my good friend Heather Cunliffe, in partnership with MoLe restaurant, is opening a 100% organic raw food cafe and juice bar downtown Victoria this spring. Well I am going to work for her at the cafe when it opens! This will provide me not only with a part time income that will support my continuing work as an artist and photographer, but it will also give me a social venue to talk with people about healing and health and meet others who are passionate about these things! I'm really excited about this (can you tell?)

Another thing I did this week was sit down and figure out what exactly I want out of life now that I am feeling ready to re-enter the "real" world.

This is what I realized (in order)
1: inspiring, creative, socially responsible work that gives me enough money to
2: move into my own home, an open concept apartment near downtown where I can have a
3: studio, and continue to grow as an artist and photographer, while living a
4: low impact, environmentally aware lifestyle, being an active part of my community
5: and I want to get a dog!!! (this has been a dream my entire life)

That, ladies and gentlemen, is my six month plan. I've been writing out many goals and affirmations (Over 100 in fact!) which I obviously won't bore you with, but this is the gist of what I am going to focus on this spring.

I know this post today is gosh darn long, that's what happens when I wait to write for a few days. There's just so many exciting things to report!

I'm going to leave you with a little movie I shot for your viewing pleasure so that you can all share my "breaking of the feast." What was my first meal you ask? Effectively green blended gloop, yummy! (oh and ummm, sorry for the butt shot, I really don't know why the video froze oh that)



Here's today's picture. I'm sporting a really warm and cozy hat made by my friend Jenny. Thanks Jenny you're the best!



Sending out so much love and happiness to all you lovely people. Thanks for patiently reading about my silly little life. I hope you all have a wonderful week!

“Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.”

“The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”

Thich Nhat Hanh quote

Day 25

Hello Dearest Friends

Today it is a blustery coastal winter day. Ok, no it's not blustery, it's downright stormy. Wet wet wet and miserable. In the spirit of staying "up" I'm trying not to let it get me down. Today I had to take a nap during the day for the first time in months, and I have been going to the sauna almost every day to keep my body warm. I'm not going to lie, some days are darn hard. Some days I want to cram avocados into my mouth, three at a time. Some days I want to give up and scream that this is ridiculous and what am I doing and that it's impossible to be chipper and airy and super duper happy about living off of juice for a month! Phewf...But then, a few minutes later, I feel calm again. And I think about how much better I am than I was a month ago, and I think about how much better I will be in another month. And I take deep breaths and keep going. Because that's all I can do, every other option is crazy making. I read some people's juice blogs and they seem so...zen about this whole process. Well I'm not going to compare, I've had the occasional zen day myself. And then there are the days I'm in yoga trying to sob quietly while great big chunks of painful emotion pull out of my back, Vipassana style. I mean how much sadness can one person store? How much sadness can one privileged, only child, white girl store, really? A lot more than I ever knew, that's how much.

It has been a few days since I wrote anything because nothing hugely momentous has taken place. I still have my cold, but it's getting better day by day. I have been weaning myself back on the juice after about three days of pretty much fasting on water. Yesterday I finally drank almost a gallon again, half of which was green. I certainly notice I have more sustainable energy levels when I get more green into my system, but some days I look at the green stuff and my body just goes, noooooo. My nausea is gone finally and my cough and mucus filled sinuses are clearing bit by bit. My face has also been super dry, probably from all the nose blowing, so I've been soaking up the coconut oil as much as possible.

Is this entry turning you off? I apologize. No wait, I don't. Because I promised honesty about this process and where would you all be if I pretended that everything was easy and then you went and started juice feasting and it got tough and you thought, "wait a second, she had it easy, what's wrong with me?" The truth is processes like this are not easy, and that's okay right? That's maybe even the point. It's that whole, what doesn't kill you bla bla bla thing we've been told for years.

I really am feeling good about going through this. Today is just a hard day. And that's okay, because maybe tomorrow will be an easier day. And hey, I have Hawaii to think about, so no matter how cold it is, that thought will get me through.

Much much love to all you lovelies, especially the ones braving the stormy winter blues. Let's all go listen to Nina, it could always be worse right?

“I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection”
Thomas Paine

Day 22

22 is my lucky number, this must be a magic day. The magic day of snot, because that's what's going on. I talked to David and Katrina Rainoshek yesterday and they assured me that all these symptoms are Great! because it's my body's way of letting go of stored toxins and mucus and all kinds of stuff.

I've been sort of fasting rather than feasting the past couple of days. I haven't been able to stomach the green juices so I'm not pushing it because I don't want to turn myself against them or make myself sick. I have found some great juices to make that I can handle though. The favorites of late are:

Cranberry, orange, lemon, ginger
Strawberry, pineapple, orange, ginger
Persimmon, orange, cranberry, lemon (I am LOVING cranberries)
And young coconut water. Yum!
Also tea with honey. I know it's all rather on the sweet side, but I've been listening to what my body asks for and haven't been overdoing the sweet too much, trusting that my taste for green will return as I get better.

As I go into my fourth week of feasting I'm feeling pretty high energy considering I have all these cold symptoms. I also feel committed to the juice feast and I've begun to wonder if I will be ready to come off in just eight days. I'm thinking I may continue on towards the 60 day mark, which would mean packing the blender and juicing in Hawaii. There are lots of good fruits and coconuts there and I have heard there's a guy who sells organic produce at the Hilo farmers market.

I've also got a game plan for the plane ride that involves a combo of greens plus, bee pollen and spirulina in my carry-on combined with water, lemon and some pasteurized orange juice. Anyways, I haven't decided either way yet, I'm going to continue taking it one day at a time.

One thing I did that helped calm my nausea 2 days ago was drink another psyllium bentonite shake. I felt immediately better and the next day all number of things were purged from my colon. I think I'll probably use this technique again as it seems to help the whole cleansing process.

I've also tried what's called "The Cold Sock Treatment" the past two nights to help relieve fever and mucus congestion. This involves heating your feet up for five minutes, then putting on a pair of ice cold wet socks (I know, I know, just wait) and a pair of wool socks over top. Though this sounds horrible, the amazing thing is your feet warm up really hot pretty quick and by half way through the night the socks are dry. What this does is draw the heat and congestion from the top of your body down, helping you sleep better and pulling the mucus down out of your sinuses. It's an old wives trick, supposedly good to help feverish children sleep and also a good Tylenol replacement.

What else...oh yeah a fun link. There's one site I would like to recommend to you: www.storyofstuff.com Watch the video all the way through, it inspired me to continue to purchase less, buy local and re-use what I already own.

Finally for today: Monday's Stats.

Weight: 140 Lbs (2 more down)
Skin: clearer, still splotchy in areas, a little itchy and dry, but soothed by coconut oil
Energy: 6.5/10 (was probably a 5/10 when I started, a 0.5/10 when I was really sick and 8/10 on the best days so far)
Emotions: fairly fluid, waves still washing through but I feel very clear and focused
Optimism: High!

Here's this week's pic. (I know I cheat by using a softbox, ah well, I'm writing it off to artistic licence) Love to all of you!

Day 20

20 days, can you believe it?!!!

This morning I learned a little lesson: Make sure the top to your high speed blender is on good and tight before you hit start. Ha ha, oops. Isn't it funny how the simplest lessons are sometimes learned the hardest ways?

It has been a challenging few days. I guess what I have going on here is a good ol lung, kidney and liver detox all happening simultaneously. The nausea has been pretty bad still, today when I was making juice I thought I might throw up. I’ve just managed to drink 1/2 quart of quite green juice this morning. I had a really restless sleep last night, partly because I had to get up and pee 5 or 6 times. I went through a series of bad bladder infections in university, so maybe the remnants are working their way out of my body. My lungs are quite congested and sore as well. I also had a really bad lung infection in third year where I coughed for a month until I broke my rib. Why did I go to university again?

So you're probably wondering why, with all this discomfort, I am trudging on forward? Because this will be worth it!!! I am creating vibrant shining health for myself and doing it with the knowledge that sometimes things must get worse before they get better. I am keeping the faith, trying to drink juice as much as I can, and riding the waves of emotion that are probably also linked to this big liver let go. One second I feel great, the next irritable, head-achy, angry, sad...all kinds of things.

I’ve also been experiencing strong cravings for comfort cooked food...emotional cravings, because as I’m craving I’m also feeling nauseous and not hungry. Lemon water is still good going down, so I'm going to keep drinking a lot of that and trying to get in as much juice as possible. Also coconut water is ok, but I know it’s super sweet so I don’t want to overdo that. Other sweet fruits like pineapple and oranges are also making me feel sick, all in all I’m a bit fatigued of the juice. I’ve been putting a lot of ginger in and drinking ginger tea. I also bought fresh mint to juice and mint tea has helped the nausea as well.

One benefit of feeling so low is I have been reading a lot. Yesterday I finished David Wolf’s book Sunfood Success System. And I have been catching up on my Juice Feasting website reading. I've started reading Napoleon Hill's book: Think and Grow Rich (ie: the Secret). Keeping inspired really helps me stay on track.

Ok folks. That's it for now. Happy Saturday to you all!

"For every disciplined effort, there is a multiple reward."
-Jim Rohn, success philosopher

Day 19

Well it's been a rougher couple of days. It seems I am truly experiencing what experts call a cleansing reaction. Headaches, nausea, fever, sore lungs, aches, all that fun stuff. Yesterday I was pretty much in bed or on the couch because I felt dizzy and feverish. Today the fever was less but I have absolutely no appetite. I drank a liter of master cleanser in the morning, somehow lemon water I can stomach, and this afternoon got in a half a gallon of juice, but that's all I can manage. I've been reading a lot of inspirational writing to keep myself feeling up and trying to just breathe deep and appreciate this for what it is, my body letting go of years of built up illnesses. Some moments are easier than others. For example, when my family is sitting down to a yummy homemade supper of seafood stew and salad and it's all cozy and comforting looking...well it's definitely a test of my strength to not feel a little overwhelmed by craving and dislocation. Then the next moment I feel great again. So it's all about riding the waves.

Short but sweet today lovelies. Have a good night!

Day 18

What Goes Up, Must Come Down?

I guess that's the title for today's blog. The past couple of days I have felt great, so full of energy. Then last night I got feverish and flu-ee feeling. This morning that feeling continues, no worse, but also no better. There has been this awful flu going around that everyone has been getting. But my hunch is that I may be having a cleansing reaction. This is not uncommon and also not surprising considering I have spent a huge portion of my life in sick. Lucky for me I am without things I must do and so I'm planning on spending the day resting, drinking my juices and catching up on health readings. I've read a couple of articles on cleansing reactions and there is this law that states: healing takes place in reverse order to how you got sick, from the inside out and the top down. That's why people's faces often start to look better the soonest. This means that yucky stuff stored inside is bound to come out eventually. I've also read that cleansing reactions are usually preceded by a day of feeling great, then last for maximum 3 days. We'll see how it goes, but I'm confident that my newly supported immune system will be able to clear this out, maybe once and for all. If I could let go of my history of annual strep throat that would be a HUGE accomplishment!

Are you all holding your breath in anticipation of the results of our Blend-Off 2008?? Well Heather, Zev and I put our two machines to the test: The Vitamix Vita Prep 3 and the Jack Lalanne Health Master 100. After carefully recording the data here is what we have come up with:

-The bodies and motors are about the same size.
-The Vitamix containter is a little bigger, but not much.
-The Vitamix seems to be a bit better quality in make, as far as the weight of the plastic, etc. but not hugely different.
-The knobs and speeds are fairly close and similar in their ease of use
-After blending a few different things we found that they both did the exact same job at blending
-Both have been used in commercial raw food establishments and have done their jobs well. That means they can both stand up to a lot of use!

Since the Jack Lalanne comes in at $350 cheaper than the Vitamix, even if it doesn't last as long I'd say it's close enough to be a damn good deal! Oh and Jack has a 100 year warranty on the motor so that at least should last forever.

Here's a video of the soon to be famous BLENDOFF 2008!!!




I think today I might try a psyllium bentonite shake and see if that doesn't assist relieving my cleansing reaction symptoms. I'll keep you posted on how it goes. Meantime I'm off to drink coconut water and learn about all the wonderful healing properties of coconuts.

Happy day to you all!

-I'll leave you with a portrait of my new friend Jack surrounded by a day's worth of goodies

Day 15

Two week mark!

Hello all you lovelies. How is everyone? I hope you're all well. I'm doing really well. How about that?!

Still up and down of course, but all in all things are noticeably improved. Want an example? Well two days ago I went for a brisk walk near my house and as I was strolling along something suddenly occurred to me...I was walking without fatigue. For the first time in over a year I had a bounce and energy in my step that had been missing.

I feel like...myself again. Tonight I met a friend for a movie date and she said that lately every time she sees me I look more and more like myself. That's the best description I've heard. The soft padding of all the sickness, fatigue, sadness and depression is washing away, literally and figuratively.

Oh the news to share!

1. The Jack Lalanne (now christened "Jack") blender finally arrived! I had pretty much given up hope, especially after a phone conversation this morning with a rep who said it might take up to a month. Then this afternoon there was that knock at the door and the postman was there carrying a huge box. I bet he'd never seen anyone so excited about a blender before. I've used it twice and it's definitely powerful. Noisy too. But WAY faster the the Osterizer. I'll do a comparison with my friend's Vitamix soon and let you all know.

2. Life feels good

3. I lost a few more pounds this week, but mostly I shed deeply stored emotions, big waves of old grief and anger came out and floated away. Very similar to my experience at Vipassana. Imagine combining juice feasting with a Vipassana retreat...oh my!

4. My immune system feels darn strong! All around me people are falling prey to this awful flu bug. It's turning into bronchitis and pneumonia and all kinds of ghastly things. But I have continued on my merry juicy way with only a day or two of fighting it off, but no real sickness. For a girl who's record is three doses on antibiotics in three months, that's damn good!

5. Sense of smell and taste. So strong! I can smell people now, which is really strange. Some people have this sour, stale odor...it's kind of gross, but interesting at the same time.

What else?...

Oh I thought I would share some informative tidbits.
Some of you have been writing that you're inspired to juice so here are some of the unusual and delicious juice combos I have been favoring:

1: orange, grapefruit, ginger, bee pollen (I know I mentioned this one already, but you really have to try it!)

2: grapefruit, celery, garlic (sounds weird, I got this from David and Katrina, but give it a chance. Usually I don't like raw garlic, but this is good)

3: spinach, kiwi, lemon, cucumber (the best breakfast drink ever)

4: spinach, mint, apple, lemon (mint with greens, yum!)

5. cilantro, lettuce, chard, tomato, red pepper, garlic (it's like salsa in a drink, and is surprisingly good.)

One funny thing is I never liked cilantro before now and suddenly I'm loving it in my juice. I think my senses are shifting.

Today I came upon a cute blog that some of you might want to check out. It's a darn good endorsement for the beauty of raw living: www.rawmodelcom.blogspot.com
That is one beeeeautiful man!

Ok, finally. Since it is a Monday, it's time for stats:

This week I lost 2-3 pounds, now weighing in about 142. Which is just fine. Normal for that to slow down after the first week or so. My skin cleared for a bit, then broke out again (detox). The puffiness around my face is vastly cleared. Energy is up. Exercise possible. Spirits high. I'm feeling proud of my own strength and I'm inspired to continue this big adventure as long as it takes to reach my goal of vibrant health.

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. All my love to each one of you!


"Do the thing and you shall have the power."
- Emerson

Day 13

What a weird week. Strange things happening all around. Not as much to me as to others, though today I did burn and kill the kettle, which is very unlike me. Full moon, Mercury in retrograde, the most depressing week of the year...these are all things I've heard by way of explanation. Well the week's almost over, so let's hope that things are shifting.

I finally have my rebounder setup!!! Thanks to the patient and expert skills of Zev Roman. *Snaps for Zev*!!! It's so fun to bounce on. It's a great workout, enjoyable, good for flushing the lymphatic system and I have been told that 10 minutes of jumping is as good as 30 minutes of jogging. Since I don't like jogging and I do like jumping, this suits me just dandy!

I'm not sure what to report health-wise. Monday I'll give the stats tally but things are less noticeably changed this week. I think I have flushed a lot of emotion and internally stored stuff. I feel like my face is looking a bit brighter, though it's hard to gage something you see every day. My energy is definitely increasing though! And that's the biggest goal. Today I was restless for the first time in...oh a year. Now I just have to make sure I don't go and spend all this newly saved energy, which is my tendency of the past.

The juice news must be spreading because people are now calling to invite ME to "dinner" so that we can juice together. How exciting! Tonight I have one such dinner date with my new friend Robin. We'll try to take some fun juicy pics that I can post later.

I have been feeling a little sick of the same juices lately and it was so exciting when I was over at Hezi's yesterday and she had young coconuts. I can drink the coconut water and it tasted like nectar! -yes, when you only drink green juice for 13 days it makes you kind of kooky-

Goodnight everyone, I hope next week is less crazy for all, or only crazy in the good ways!

Day 12

Good Morning Friends!

I haven't blogged for a couple days and now it's time to catch up. As I get further into my feast there are less day to day feasting dramas to report, but still, there's plenty to tell you about.

Things are going nicely. I'm starting to get into a juicing routine. My routine fell apart a little at the beginning of the week and I didn't feel great. I realized it was because I was getting up too late, thus not drinking my first juice until about 10 am, which meant that for the 2 hours before I started to get grumpy. Not so good! So today I got up at 7, got my morning lemon water, enema and hot cold shower done and now it's 8:30 and I am drinking my first juice. Much better, as I don't want to spend all day making juice and doing juice feasting activities. Another hint to any of you thinking of juice feasting is to make your morning juice the night before and leave it in the fridge. That way you can drink that first one on time, regardless if it takes some time to get the other juices made. Minimizing blood sugar crashes is important for mental stability and avoiding cravings.

I may have mentioned before that I was feeling nauseous on and off this past week. I put it down to detox, but now I think it may be remnants of that strange flu bug I had. I talked to Katrina Rainoshek (my juice feasting coach) yesterday and she said it could also be from all the chlorophyll. Either way, it seems to be dissipating. I'm thinking about getting some liquid bentonite and trying a psyllium/bentonite shake to pull any toxins out that are causing these hangover sensations. If I do I'll post a report on the outcome.

Other news...still no Jack Lalanne blender! Every day I think; "today will be the day." But the good ol' Osterizer is still kicking, thank goodness. Maybe today will be the day. I hope so, otherwise I have to wait another weekend.

The best news is that juice feasting is having a rippling effect and I've taken part in some fun juicing get-togethers lately. My friends are being wonderfully supportive and many of them are inspired to try out the green juice! I had a juice lunch party with Hezi and Stacey last week, my friend Allana visited this weekend and we had juice for breakfast and last night I went to Jenny's and had a juicy dinner. I've taken some pictures (I finally located my camera) that I'll post at the end.

Jenny's method for juicing is to use her blender and then strain her pulp through an old, clean t-shirt. And guess what? It worked better at keeping the chunks out than my nut milk bags! I may switch to that method myself, saves money and gives less pulpy juice.

My last delighted tidbit to report is that my squatting post seems to have started a mini revolution! I won't name any names, but some of you out there have decided to take on my challenge, and are now praising the benefits. *Snaps* for squatting while you poo!

Much love to all. Hope you enjoy these juicy pictures!

Ladies Lunch on Juice!

Day 9

Holy Doolie, it's freezing in Victoria!

Now I know compared to rest of the country that's nothing, but for us thin skinned coasties -5 is darn chilly. The semi-tropical plants are all wilty and starting to panic.

Tonight I saw a documentary called "How to Cook Your Life". Funny I know after all my raw foody talk, but it was really good, I recommend it. It's about this Zen Monk/Chef and it reminded me about the importance of awareness and staying present while preparing food. Even while juicing I haven't really been paying close attention, just kind of throwing the fruits and veggies in and pressing the go button. Tomorrow my goal is to really smell, feel and take in what I am juicing.

Oh that reminds me, did I tell you my sense of smell has gotten super sensitive? Yesterday at the pool I could smell the women's shampoo from outside the change rooms, across the building. And the smell of stale coffee on Sunday almost make me puke.

I've been really into oranges the past couple of days.
The favorite voted juice has been orange/ginger. I know it's not green, but today I had a really hard time stomaching the green juice. I have felt pretty nauseous yesterday and today, which is a normal detox thing, but something about the gentle sweetness of the orange combined with the stomach calming spice of the ginger is Yummy!

Today was a "sensitive" day. I cried a lot. And felt edgy. The amazing thing is that I stayed calm even while I was sobbing, part of me wailing away and the other part thinking "hmmm, well that's good, let is all out now, don't want to be carrying that around anymore do we?" Usually when I maintain this sort of awareness while crying I begin to laugh, which is what happened, and then the sadness floods back and I start to cry again. I always think of that crazy scene from Breakfast at Tiffany's, you know the one, during the apartment party when the camera does a long pan across the room and we see the woman looking at herself in the mirror and laughing hysterically, and then the camera moves away only to return a minute later to the same woman who is now looking at herself and sobbing, face streaked with black mascara. I love that scene.

This is my photographic tribute that I shot last year. And yes, I am really crying.



In my health readings today I learned about giving a proper enema and realized that I haven't been doing enough abdominal massaging. Tonight I was more diligent in this respect and cleared out even more "stuff." I also learned about the miraculous healing tributes of natural clays like bentonite and French green clay. You can cure everything from food poisoning and acne to carpel tunnel and gangrene. Amazing!

It's been a total EMO day. I guess that makes sense with the whole feeling sensitive deal. It's just so predictable. Last winter I worked with a girl who would listen to hard metal when she feeling low. I will never be that girl.

Here's my quote of the day. I like how it rings. Goodnight friends.

"If you're green on the inside, you're clean on the inside."
Dr. Bernard Jensen

Day 8

After a weekend of juicing and visiting with a friend who came into town I am back to the blog. Happy Monday everyone. I know it's not a favorite day of the week, but today is such a beautiful sunny January 21 it's hard not to feel uplifted.

So you're probably wondering how it's going? Well since you asked.

The past couple days have been bit a little harder but things are still moving along nicely. I felt a bit head-achy and sick to my stomach yesterday and today but I think that's just a sign of detox. How do I know? Well I know by what comes out. Don't worry, I'm not going to get into any highly descriptive poo talk, but I will tell you that it's black, it's solid and it's been in there a long time. So I know it's time to say goodbye to all the toxic waste! To maintain the outward flow of noxious material I have kept up with the daily enemas not once but twice a day, morning and evening, which I thank the heavens for every time I start to feel sick or bloated because I feel wonderfully better immediately after.

Since I have received a few emails and messages from you about pulling out juicers and wondering about my process of juicing I thought today would be a good day to describe just how I am making a gallon and a half of juice a day.

It's so easy!

First, I am not using a juicer, I'm using my blender. A good juicer (not one of those old 80's champions, but a Greenstar or something designed to juice greens) costs about $500-$1000 and is Really slow. So instead I have invested in:

1) a good blender (which I will continue to use all the time whether I am juicing or not)
2) a few nut milk bags (these you can find at various health food or healing store locations, order online or if you live in Victoria I've been getting mine at a store called Triangle, which is across from Lifestyle Market just off Douglas St. for $9/each)

I start by putting about 1/2 cup of distilled water in the bottom of the blender. Then I add the juiciest fruits or veggies (cucumbers or oranges, etc.) first. Blend them up. Then add the others till its a nice green pulp.

Next I pour the liquid into the nut milk bag, over a bowl, and after closing off the top, gently squeeze the juice out.

Last I pour that into my mason jar and voila! My juice is ready.It takes me about an hour to make 6 quarts of juice.

This is the same method you use to make homeade nut or seed milk except you blend your soaked nuts or seeds with water and a date or two.

Now truth be told I have actually been using a kind of crappy blender, my parent's old Osterizer, and it's been doing the job just barely. But I ordered this blender called: The Jack Lalanne Health 100. Which is supposed to be almost comparable to the Vitamix 5000 but cost $125 instead of $500. Unfortunately it didn't arrive in the mail yet. It should get here in the next day or two and when it does my raw foody friend Heather and I are going to have a blend-off and compare the two. I'll let you know the results after our contest. For $125 if it's even close the the Vitamix I'll be pretty happy.

Alright, so it has been one week since I started and it's time to check up on our stats. Let's start with a photo. It's funny because I usually retouch my photos on Photoshop, but just for you lovely people I'm not doing it, otherwise we wouldn't be able to see the real progress.


The stats are:
I have lost 6 Lbs.
My skin on my face has started to clear up.
Probably about 1/2 of my belly swelling has gone down.
Energetically I have felt pretty good. I've gone for a few long walks and done some gentle yoga classes but I don't yet feel up to cardio so I've been holding off on that.
I haven't been as cold the past few days, but I'm bundling up lots and drinking warming teas to make sure that doesn't happen.

I am feeling quite positive and though I've had some headaches in the morning and some gas, this always goes away as soon as whatever is detoxing passes out of my body.
Generally I'm feelin happy and excited to see what happens as my Feast progresses. I have been told that after day 10 my body will be well adjusted and things will go fairly smoothly after that.

Well we'll see. One day at a time. I know health is a different experience for everyone. I'll keep you all posted. Thanks for reading!

Day 5

Another day, another gallon and a half of fresh juice. Today was a big elimination day. And man does it feel good. Take it away, I don't want that crap anymore!!!

One of the great things about becoming a member on juicefeasting.com is that every day there are pages and pages of health information, inspiring articles, videos and songs to download. I have spent a lot of time this year reading and learning about health, nutrition, natural healing, Ayurvedic medicine, Chinese medicine, natural therapeutic methods, etc. The juice feasting website is giving me an even greater library to tap into. The more I learn, the more I am struck by our general ignorance about health and our bodies. Before this year if for example I had a headache I would think, "ouch, my head hurts, why is it doing that?" And then I would take a Tylenol. Now my head hurts and I try to think "that's an interesting feeling, what is the message?" Maybe I'm stressed and need to chill out, maybe I ate something that doesn't agree with me...there is always a cause for the pain I feel.

I've been thinking a lot about health and about taking responsibility for ourselves.
I don't just want ok health. I want vibrant health.
People have been saying to me, "that's good you're doing that, I would do something like that if I were sick too." But my question I have for you is: why wait until we're sick? What I've learned this year is that I got sick was because I ignored my body's warning signals that preceded for three or more years. It's like a kid whispering that she needs to pee, then calling out, then screaming and finally peeing her pants. If I had been tuning in enough to listen to the messages earlier then I wouldn't have gotten sick in the first place. I'm done with being just OK, I want to feel GREAT! (picture Tony the Tiger...except minus the sugary cereal) And feeling great doesn't just mean functioning, getting up, geoing to work, making money, coming home, watching TV, going to bed, then doing it all again the next day. Feeling great means getting out of bed and thinking "Shit, i love my life!" It means feeling happy and energized. Having ample creative energy and time for people I care about, having a beautiful home and giving as much as I can to others because my basic supply of energy is limitless.


Today I learned about squatting and the importance of doing it when you go to the bathroom. I know, this may gross some of you out. But come on now, everyone poos, it's a large part of each of our day (or should be...constipation is apparently one of the growing problems in North America), so we might as well start talking about it. Did you know that Appendicitis is caused by improper bowel emptying from sitting instead of squatting on toilets? Apparently people in third world countries don't get Appendicitis or Collitis or Chrone's Disease or Irritable Bowel Syndrome, because they squat over holes like our bodies were designed to do instead of sitting their lazy butts on toilets. Amazing! Who knew that? Not me. There's your fun fact for the day. I dare you to tell five people. I double dare you to start squatting when you poo. You can kill two birds with one stone, proper bowel emptying and yogic leg stretches all at the same time!

And with that note I will leave you for the day! Happy pooing friends! Talk to you soon.

Day 4

Hi everyone!

Thanks so much for continuing to follow this day by day account. How are you all doing? Good I hope. Blogging is funny, it's so one sided. Talk about the perfect invention for our self absorbed society; we can sit here and talk about ourselves till the cows come home. Ahhh, and I am going to take full advantage of that. But really, I am continually surprised and delighted when I hear than anyone is reading this.

Today was a beautiful day. A truly wonderful day.
Why you might ask? Those of you who live in Victoria know that it was another grey, damp, sunless coastal winter day. It was chilly out. Nothing special happened in town. The circus didn't show up, Madonna didn't make a surprise visit...at least not as far as I know.

Well then it must be all the GREEN! So green juice alkalizes our systems. And being alkaline makes us really happy, even euphoric. Now apparently we should naturally be alkaline people, and I guess all be a lot more euphoric. Unfortunately we work very hard filling our bodies with really acidic stuff almost immediately from birth and then to feel good we consume things which give us momentary alkalization and the illusion of balance. Things that make us feel alkalized (but actually create acidity) are: coffee, alcohol, pot, drugs, etc. etc. You know that feeling when you're high and everything suddenly seems more beautiful and just right? Well that's how I felt today. And I haven't had any of those things in my body in almost a year.

The high points of my day were:
-Experiencing no hunger pangs or cravings
-Having steady energy all day
-A feeling of general euphoria
-An uncontrollable urge to dance and sing loudly in public
-The inability to stop smiling
-A juice lunch party with the girls
-A lovely "dinner" with friends where they are yummy raw food and I drank juice
-A nice warm bath after a good cleansing enema (you may say gross, but I say bliss!)

Heather and Stacey and I shot some cute pictures of our juice lunch which I will post just as soon as I figure out where my camera is. Today I saw the other side of going through an experience like this. And that is the chance for fun, learning and inspiration with others. Not everyone thinks what I'm doing is crazy, some even want to join in for a meal!

I end this day feeling more inspired about my choices and proud both of my own strength and of the love and trust my friends and family are showing. People keep saying to me -I should do something like that, but I just love to eat too much and I don't have the stamina or will power- To that I say nonsense! We all have so much more strength than we know. This year I have learned that the depths of my ability to suffer and then pull myself out of suffering are WAY deeper than I ever imagined.

So I am sending you all great big waves of love and strength to take on your own battles in life. Eyes open, feet planted, and with a belief that we can all heal ourselves, create our own happiness and then maybe even share it with the rest of the world.

Day 3

Today was an easier day. The juice went down smoother, my body felt better adapted and I was more calm. Apparently I looked stoned because my pupils were super dilated. Funny, I wonder why that happened?

I've decided to stop giving my list of daily juices 1) because I'm too lazy to take note what I'm putting in as I make them and 2) because they're all pretty much the same. Maybe I'll just mention when I make something truly special. My favorite today was orange celery with the bee pollen in it, yum! It was beautiful chartreuse and tasted like dessert. (I know I know, I'm becoming a juice nerd)

The best part of today was when I was given two bags stuffed with local organic grown kale and chard from a friend's garden. (Thanks Jeremy and Jennifer!) I was like a freaking kid in a candy shop (you would be too if you were buying kale for $3/bunch) Why did I choose winter to do this again? After being given the kale I realized there may be an untapped market of unused produce in the local winter gardens. So I posted a plea for greens on Craigslist. It'll be funny to see if anyone answers.

I could keep chattering away but I don't have any coherent deep thoughts to express at the moment. So instead I want refer you all to a talk I watched today that inspired me SO MUCH! It's a video of a lecture by Gary Null. I had never even heard of Gary Null before today. Please please please watch this video! It's relevant to any of us who have had or have ever known someone with any degenerative disease, cancer, Parkinson's, AIDS, obesity, prolonged menopause, depression...so really that means all of us. Please watch it all the way through. It's a little long but SO worth it!!!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6707428874362219714

And with that I'll end with a couple of the quotes I liked from the talk...oh and some juicy pictures that'll give you a real idea of my GREEN intake.

Thanks so much for saying nice things in your comments. Praise may be cheap but it always works! Sending out love and good wishes to everyone!

" In my world I don't eat things that are not good. I don't do things that are not good. I don't think things that are not good. Everything I do honors me."

"Why are poor happy people in third world countries living longer lives than rich unhappy people in America?"

"What constitutes a long life? The belief that you have in yourself. And sharing with other people who share common values and a common energy...If I'm around positive people I'm supported by their positive energy and it enhances mine as I share with them."

"Love expands, fear constricts
Honesty expands, defeat constricts"






"Everything is a choice. We are a mirror manifestation of the choices we make."

Day 2

Second day. Whoa Nelly!

Juices:

1-Celery, cucumber, lettuce, yam, ginger w. Max Stress B and Hemp Oil
2-Apple, parsley, lettuce, ginger w. 1 Tbs bee pollen
3-Orange, grapefruit, celery w. 1 Tbs MSM
4-Kale, arugula, lettuce, celery, ginger, turmeric w. E3 Live
5-Celery, lettuce, spinach, ginger, apple

Supplements: 3000 vitamin D, 1 acidophilus (30 billion cultures), digestive enzymes

Well it's kind of late and I'm about ready to go to bed. But I'll give a wee update before I rest.

Today was an intense day. There is no getting around that. There are many challenges about these sort of experiences and today I was tested. There was:

1. "The Cold" It is winter and not the most ideal time to do a cleanse like this. I am managing to stay warm if I keep bundled and don't sit for too long and have hot baths or go to the sauna, but the cold is definitely a challenge. For some reason Victoria decided to try out winter this week, which just does not fit with my schedule damn it!

2. "The Greens" I have heard green juice called "Liquid Plumber." Now I know why. It's been a bit like having snakes in my intestines. But oh man, does it feel nice when it's all...well, um, out.

3. "The Critics" Perhaps the greatest challenge so far. I don't really know what to say about this. I know that everything people say is based in love and concern from that love. And I understand how some might feel concerned or confused as to why I would go through something like this. All I can hope for is trust and faith on the parts of those who are in doubt, and put out a request that even if they have concerns that they continue to support me because that's what you do for the ones you love.

Sometimes it can be more exhausting to explain myself and justify my decision making, that to actually go through the process itself. At one point today I thought that I should just stop this blog, that if putting out what I was doing made the whole process harder than I should just shut up, keep it to myself and get on with it.

But then I thought; the point of writing this blog is to share my experience. Whatever it is. And so I'm not going to stop because some may feel uncomfortable and I'm not going to stop just because I have to deal with that discomfort. I want to be open and honest, to say when it's hard and to share when things go well. So that's my plan.

And if you don't like it. That's ok. I'm ok with that.

Love to all. And thanks to everyone who IS being supportive. Actually thanks to those who aren't as well, because you put me to the test and help me know that I really want to do this. It wouldn't be a proper journey without some good ol' walls and pitfalls.

my favored quote today:

-work smarter, not harder-

oh, one final little notee: Thanks Dad for calling at the end of Day 1 and playing a song on your guitar. It made my night.

Day 1

Well it has begun. Day 1 is coming towards an end. And I made it through. I don't have anything earth shattering to write just yet. But I'd call the day a success.

Should I tell you how my day shaped up so you can get an idea of -a day in the life- dealio? Well alright then.

-I woke up.
-Meditated for about 5 minutes (usually I try for an hour but today I was too excited to start juicing)
-Drank 1 quart of water with half a lemon juiced in and a Tbs of MSM
-I scraped the goo from my tongue with a tongue scraper (pretty original name I know, but this is very good for helping your liver cleanse)
-Then I did my first enema, and guess what, it was easy! I won't get into the details, to read how you can look it up on juicefeasting.com
-Next I dry skin brushed and then had a nice hot shower, alternating with cold for 30 seconds each a total of 7 times, and finishing on hot, because it's winter here.
-Then I made my juice. I made 3 quarts to start. Later in the day I made two more, but only drank one.
-This all took about an hour and a half and then I got on with my day.

In total today I drank:
4 quarts juice
1st: celery, parsley, cucumber, lettuce, ginger w. E3live (live blue-green algae), a digestive enzyme (for my poor deprived system), an acidophilus (to kill the Candida and help the good crawlies multiply), and 3000 IU of vitamin D (because it's winter here and lately I've forgotten what sunshine is)
-2nd: celery, grapefruit, cucumber, green apple, lettuce and Max Stress B ( a live plant based B vitamin that will help my adrenals), and MSM
-3rd: kale, apple, cucumber, lettuce, ginger, 1 Tbs hemp oil and 1 Tbs spirulina
-4th: soaked goji berries, orange, celery, ginger, lettuce and 1 Tbs bee pollen

I quart of water with lemon
1 quart warming tea
-this has: ginger (warming and good for stomach), cinnamon (warming), cardamom pods (warming), cloves (warming, stimulate circulation and metabolism), anise (warming and good for clearing sinuses and clearing mucus), astralagus (feeds the body's basic energy,antibacterial, anti-inflammatory, and diuretic), burdock root (blood purifier and liver cleanser), goji berries (blood builder) and licorice root(good for warmth, stomach and low blood pressure-a problem of adrenal fatigue) yeah baby!!! I know it sounds weird, but it's actually some darn good tea.

I should mention that I currently have a cold which is causing all kinds of sneezing and sniffling, but I'm hoping that all this healthy juicing will aid in that healing process as well.

Hunger pains were nil today. I did start having a little craving for white bagels with avocado and cream cheese which is funny because I haven't eaten white flour or cream cheese for almost a year. Weird things happen with cleansing though and I have heard that sometimes you crave stuff when the toxins from them are leaving your body. Well if that's true then bye bye white flour!

And...I think that's it. I'm feeling a bit chilly today, what with the cold windy rainy day and this bug I have, but I've been keeping warm by moving my body, drinking warm things and bundling up.

Have a great night everyone!

-within every adversity is an equal or greater benefit-

(don't know who said it but I like it!)

Day 0

Why hello!

Welcome! So somehow you ended up on this funny little page of mine. You probably know me and I told you about it. Or maybe you stumbled here through my photography website. Or maybe you were just surfing the net looking for something interesting to read. Who knows how these things work? I certainly don't. I've always been a skeptic about the whole blog process. More because it seemed like too much work to continually tell the world all about myself and I figured; really, who's interested anyways? But, as so often happens, I have changed my mind now that I have a purpose to my blogging.

This blog is going to be a day by day account of my long term Juice Feasting adventures which begin tomorrow. Essentially I am going to be drinking nothing but juice, at least a gallon a day of green organic vegetable juice, for 30+ days.

As I go I will try to include as much useful information about Juice Feasting and natural healing as I can. But I'll warn you now, this blog is mainly going to be daily accounts of my personal experiences. This is because a) I'm not nearly knowledgeable enough to sound smart talking about the scientific aspects of Juice Feasting and b) when I read blogs I'm most interested in what the person is thinking and feeling.

Let's start by giving you the link to the site where you WILL find the hard data and helpful how to-s of Juice Feasting: www.juicefeasting.com

The site is run by David and Katrina Rainoshek, who are both accomplished Juice Feasters and run juicefeasting.com, their Juice Feasting coaching business out of Arizona, USA. They have kindly offered to coach me through this process and are full of knowledge and information, so please send your Juice Feasting queries their way!

Ok, now that that's covered I will give you a brief description of my past and why I decided to do a Juice Feast.

There is a long, a really long and a shorter version of this story and I will try my best to tell the shorter.

For the past year I have been sick. Well actually it probably started before that when I was at university and living in Toronto. In essence I am your typical North American mid 20 year old. I am an over-achiever with a need-to-help complex and a bit of a grass-is-greener outlook, who took on a long list of things (university + jobs + relationships + big city + commuting + perfectionism + a need to prove myself to the world) and ended up completely burning out last May.

I could go on more about how I got there but that would be boring. Most of you probably know the story anyways, and if you're really that curious...well maybe one day I'll write a book.

So let's get on to my adventures in ill health:

It all began one hazy summer while riding horses in the mountains and gallivanting through the heat waves of BC. That's when I got strep throat and my hormones shut down. Then the weight gain started. Then the indigestion (oh well the indigestion had been going on since university when I was sure I had an ulcer because my stomach hurt for two years straight). But the indigestion got REALLY bad and my stomach swelled up like I was six months pregnant. Then the acne began (I mean I'm 26, wasn't that supposed to be over 10 years ago?!). At that point the depression kicked in, with a dab of low self-esteem and a sprinkling of body image issues just to make it nice and spicy. Finally, the all encompassing fatigue: head grinding, body soaking, 1000 pound fatigue that made it hard to walk for more than a few minutes, let alone up a hill and caused me to fall back asleep, sitting up, at the breakfast table an hour after getting out of bed. Oh and the low brain power. Let's not forget that. I'm pretty sure I forgot my own name a few times.

I'm not going to get into the myriad of tests, doctors, other cleanses, etc. that I went through. Let's just say that if I was paid to taste test medicinal specialists and natural healing practitioners I would be a very rich lady right now.

Some of the labels I have heard for what I have are as follows:
Candida overgrowth, leaky gut syndrome, autoimmunity, adrenal burnout, adrenal fatigue, chronic fatigue syndrome and irritable bowel syndrome. Take your pick, I don't mind, whatever one sounds the neatest to you.

The biggest lesson I have learned this year is: Ask my body what IT is feeling and then LISTEN to the answer. I know this sounds simple, but it has been the most difficult learning experience of my life. And probably the most important.

It was when I finally slowed down and then actually stopped "doing", that my recovery process began. I quit my job, packed my stuff, and moved to a beautiful little cottage in a beautiful little garden in my parent's backyard. And can I just mention that without the support of my mom, my step-dad Paddy, my dad and his wife Susan as well as many friends and family, I might never have made it home to get better. So thank you thank you thank you lovely lovely family. It's experiences like this that teach the power of human love and connection.

Here is a list of things which have helped me heal:
Sitting still
Meditation
Journaling
Counseling
Yoga
Jin Shin Do
Qi Gong
Massage
Vipassana 10 day silent meditation course
Healing affirmations
Walking
Time with friends and family
Life affirming books and literature

AND: diet changes. I always thought I ate healthy. Compared to most of North America I did. My so-so healthy diet become unhealthy when my body could no longer process the refined and denser foods. So, over the past year I have gone from eating a diet of whole grains, high sugar (yes even honey is sugar), high carb, some well raised meat and dairy included...to cutting out in stages:

Alcohol and caffeine
Refined sugar
Refined starch
Wheat
Cow dairy
All dairy
Meat
Most cooked food

For the past three months I have mainly been eating a diet of live foods, very high in leafy green vegetables and low in fats and sugars. There has been some definite improvements from these changes. My digestion is getting better and my energy levels are increasing. But the healing process is a slow one.

And so, after much research, thought and discussion I have decided to move on to the next stage in what I have been told is my own little hero's journey. And that is a Juice Feast. It is time to give my digestive system a break, let my organs do house cleaning and support the whole process by filling my body with nothing but nutrient- filled, enzyme-rich, vitamin-packed juice. Oh, and lots of love.

Let's review the stats, which is ugh, kind of scary, but needed in order for us all to track this process and see how things change.

-Currently I weight 150 Lbs. I am 5"7, my ideal weight is 130 Lbs. In university I weighed between 120-125 and was probably underweight at times from all the stress. At my most ill I got up to 160. The juice feasting should help normalize my weight again.
-My hormones are much better and more regulated but continue to dip from time to time
-My blood sugar is much stabler, but at times I still experience those lovely, panicky attacks of hypoglycemia
-My skin is still breaking out and my digestion still acting up on and off
-My energy is hit and miss. Some days I can do a full 90 minute Ashtanga class, other days it's still tiring to walk for more than 30 minutes. I have yet to be able to do any really sweaty exercise.

These are all things which I hope to see improve while juicing. I am going to start with 30 days and see how I feel. Others have gone for 90-100 and had phenomenal results, it just depends on the depth of healing that needs to take place.

Phewf! Well, if you're still with me, you're brave. This was a very long entry. But now that we've got it out of the way we won't have to talk about it again. Tomorrow I'll explain more about what I'm actually Doing on this Juice Feast.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope that in the least you are amused and at most maybe even inspired.

I'll end with a photo so that we can do that before and after thingy everyone loves so much. Please excuse the baggy eyes, they are as much in part from the salsa dancing last night (though I was in bed by midnight) than from being sick. But it's good to start with a bad picture, that way the after shot will look even better!



Have a great day everyone! Let's wrap it up with a good ol' affirmation.

In an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way, in its own perfect time for the highest good of all I am now creating beautific, shining health