Day 33 - First meal

It is right to keep counting days? Maybe I should have started back at #1 when I moved into modified juice feasting...ah well. I think it still counts. I'm still ingesting only fruits and veggies and a few supplements. It's just that some are solid now while others are still in liquid form. Mostly I'm eating what could be called green baby food, so it ain't like I'm back on french fries or anything. Not that I have any plans on doing that ANY time in the near future!

So today was a momentous day! After four days of smoothies, soups (essentially savory smoothies) and juices, today I ate my first salad. It was DEEEEELicious. But I also felt mixed about it. Apprehensive about putting solids in my system after such a long time of easily digestible meals. After years of bad digestion I really don't want to go there again. In order to make it a good experience I did a few things. First I took time to make the salad, really trying to keep focused on the task of preparing the food with love. Then I blessed the meal and my body for taking it in. Then I took about 45 minutes to eat it, eating with chopsticks and chewing slowly to make sure I got the most out of it and digested it easily. I like eating salads with chopsticks for this reason. It forces you to eat one item at a time and taste each bite. Also there's something nice about eating with wood instead of metal. If nothing else, you'll never get that awful tang when the fork hits your teeth.

The past few days have been pretty great. I attended yet another juice party. This time the ladies juiced lunch at our friend Bronwyn's, who is just about to start her own 92 day juice feast! *snaps for Bronwyn!!* She will be blogging her experiences at: http://www.juicepulpnonfiction.blogspot.com
She bought a Samson juicer, which claims to do just about everything you ever need: make veggie, fruit and wheatgrass juice, make nut mylk, kim chi, pate, nut butter...you name it.
It's pretty much a magic machine. We put Samson to the test and he passed with rainbow flying colours!!! When I get enough money, that is the juicer for me. The juice was SO tasty (I have to admit, much tastier than blender made juice...not faster, but tastier). What Juices did we make you ask? Grapfruit, garlic, cilantro (heavy on the cilantro) I think this juice is one of the best discoveries of my feast. I used to HATE cilantro, now I adore it. And garlic with grapefruit is the weirdest but most surprisingly wonderful combination. Our second juice, for a Valentines special: blood orange and mint.

Here's Bronwyn, hangin with her new friend Samson.

All in all it was a fantastic party and we're sure to have many more over the next 100 or so days! Bronwyn is doing her feast in conjunction with The Global Juice Feast starting March 1. I haven't mentioned this yet and it's about time! David and Katrina Rainoshek are hosting the first Annual Global Juice Feast where people from around the world will be simultaneously juicing, healing and supporting each other through the online venue http://www.globaljuicefeast.com and within their local communities. It's very exciting! You can join the site for free and then go to http://www.juicefeasting.com for all the information on how to complete your juice feast. Whether you want to do it for 2 days or 92 it doesn't matter, everyone's just there to be a part of an amazing healing movement.

I have less than a week until I leave for Hawaii and I must say I'm getting very excited to see my family, soak up the sun and explore all the fresh produce to be found. I'm still feeling quite bright and full of energy. I had a little low point today, a result of getting too excited about being up and doing too much. But after a rest, some max stress vitamin B and dancing to a good hip hop song, I feel rejuvenated
and ready to get dressed up for a wacky mesh party taking place in Victoria tonight. There's nothing like taking the worst style ever and making a theme out of it, it's gonna be hot!

Yesterday I had a fantastic Valentines. I decided that since this past year has been the year of dating myself, it was only fitting to take myself out for some fun. I bought a lovely pair of earrings, attended a super cute art opening at Studio 161/2 in Fan Tan Alley (check out the show Frankie n' Eddie, it's great!) and then went to a pub with a bunch of other singles where we exclaimed over our joy at being free and unnattached, writing our thoughts in heiku. The best one of the night was Jenny's:

Stinky boys ugly
I used to like them a lot
Lately, not so much

Happy happy Shmalentines to you all. I say we officially make it the day of loving ourselves!

Day 31

I love smoothies! I love greens!

The past two days have been wondrous. Somehow transitioning back to blended smoothies has caused this shift in my energy and a great sense of wellbeing. I'm feeling clean and strong while at the same time really enjoying the flavour and texture of these simple, wholesome, delicious smoothies. I'm still starting my day with water, MSM and lemon. Followed next by a big glass of green green juice. That routine is one I hope to continue as I've never really liked eating something with density in the first couple of hours after waking. I used to start my day with a cup of sweet, milky black tea. It would give me the comfort factor, but then I would feel dopey and puffy and my blood sugar would inevitably crash a few hours later. Starting with a green juice does the opposite. I feel even and happy and hopeful. Then around 10 am I make my lovely smoothie, with all sorts of scrumptious ingredients. Here's an example recipe of my favorite smoothie:

1 c. blueberries or blackberries
1 banana
1 apple or pear
1/2 Lb spinach (about 1/2 big bunch)
1/2 c. filtered water
1 tsp spirulina
1 Tbs E3 live
1 tsp maca powder
1 Tbs Greens plus
1 Tbs bee pollen (best food in the world! thank you bees)
a pinch of celtic sea salt (good minerals)

Blend it up nice and smooth! (jack even blended the blackberry seeds, *snaps for jack*) I've been eating my smoothies in a bowl with a spoon. This is great to give a sense of "eating" instead of drinking, it encourages me to chew (which is important even when you're ingesting liquid because it stimulates your digestive enzymes) and the bowl trick slows me down.

It is a beautiful sunny day here in Victoria and I feel so...alive! I know, what a cliche I've become hey? One of those damn happy people! Out to tell you how I changed my life and now I feel great, bla bla bla. Well guess what, it's true! Not that there aren't days which are hard. It's just, I guess my thinking around challenges has changed this year. I've had to breath and be patient through so many long, drawn out discomforts; whether it was extreme fatigue, depression, feeling isolated, gaining weight, sitting in excruciating meditation postures, having terrible indigestion...well you get the picture. It's like anything; when you go through something really difficult it's the most amazing experience because afterwards you appreciate just feeling okay. NOT being in pain is amazing! But I guess sometimes it takes extreme pain to teach us that. Sometimes I think most of us get sick in order to learn this lesson, and it's one of those lessons we seem to have to learn over and over. I'm know I haven't seen the last of my friend Pain, but how I greet him is different. I don't want to scream "Go Away!" and hide under the covers anymore. Now I want to sit down and have a chat, find out what he's here for, listen to him as patiently as I can and wish him well when he's got it all out of his system. I guess what I'm trying to say is he's gonna come and go so I might as well enjoy the sunshine and fresh fruit. Sorry Graydon, I just can't pretend to be a cynic anymore. I guess I just juiced that girl right out of me.

Love and warmth to everyone. May you make the most of whatever moment you're in!

PS. It seems every day I find about 5 more links to other inspiring bloggers. I know the list is getting long, but please, check them out, there is a wealth of knowledge, recipes and excited people to eavesdrop on out there.

Day 29

Hello lovelies!

My my, it has been a very full few days! Where to start? Last week was a pretty intense week, but great none the less. I came out of it feeling like I purged and let go of a lot of baggage and feeling stronger and more centered than I have in ages. I also woke up yesterday with a strong message from my body that I was ready to transition into a modified juice feast. This surprised me because I had decided to keep going on just juice for another 30 days. But for the past three of four days I got hungrier and hungrier while at the same time the thought of juice was making me nauseous. Then all the juices started tasting really bitter and weird. Amazing how our bodies can send such strong signals!

So after a good conversation with David and Katrina Rainoshek we all agreed that I should listen to my body and start transitioning today back into blended smoothies and eventually to blended soups and some salads and fresh fruit. I felt a little mixed
about not going the full 30 days, but I've decided that it's more important to follow my intuition than to push myself just for the sake of pushing. It's that sort of thinking that drove me to burning out and getting sick in the first place. My body and I have been having some pretty open, honest conversations this past month and I'm trying to be very respectful of the communication that I have finally developed with myself.

So! Yesterday I did a couple of things to celebrate the successful completion of my first juice feast. First: I made the yummiest juices all day, and really ENJOYED them, thanking life and my body as I drank for all the health and healing we have accomplished in just 28 days. Second: I had a juice toast with my parents, complete with pineapple, blood orange filled wine glasses. This was particularly symbolic as it's been my family that's had the hardest time accepting my choice to go through this experience. But they have really shifted their views over the past week which felt like a big accomplishment. And third: I went over to my friend Robyn's house and we had a lovely dinner juice party with main course and dessert juices. Here are some pictures. The juices were so good:





Dinner: tomato, spinach, celery, carrot, cilantro, garlic
Dessert: red grape, pineapple, lemon, ginger (this tasted like ginger lemonade and is SO good!!!)

Now...it's Monday! And you know what that means. Time for the stats!

Here we go:

Weight: 136 Lbs -4 this week...I guess that's the water fasting - at 5"7 I'm now in my target healthy weight range. I'm feelin pretty darn happy about that, working on feeling satisfied with where I am right now, in this moment. *snaps for the moment!*

Skin: pretty darn smooth, face is much clearer. the Hawaiian sun should help too

Mood: even and happy. feeling optimistic, proud of myself and excited for the next stage of this process

Energy: 8/10 This weekend I went out and "did" stuff for the first time in a while. Socialized, had fun, got things done. It felt really great.

BMs: I know I haven't talked about this in a while. Well today I performed my last enema. The past week or so I have continued with 1/day to keep the toxins moving on out, but now that I'm re-introducing fiber into my diet that should take care of itself all on its own. I think my family's pretty happy about that...and I'm glad I won't be performing enemas in the shared bathroom in Hawaii.

Immune System: I'm still mucus-y and stuffed up, but getting better. I'm going to up my probiotic dose this week to 2/day to help boost my immune system. I feel strong though, and I'm hoping my days as a chronically sick lil lady are coming to a close

The Cold Factor: Still feeling the chill, but less than before. My body is warming up faster on its own and I'm able to do more heat building things like Ashtanga again

High Points of the Week: joining the www.globaljuicefeast.com community, receiving an email from Anthony the raw model (oh my!), lots of supportive comments and emails from friends and other raw foodies, and generally having FUN! (remember fun?)

This whole year has been such an amazing learning process. I think I'm getting to be a bit of an expert in curing depression and burnout, after hundreds of hours of reading, trying different methods, sampling different techniques. And the better I get, the more I think about working within a healing field, using what I have learned to help others overcome labeled "chronic" or "incurable" illnesses. I'm feeling so inspired to use my photography, art and writing to take me further down this path. I've also been thinking about becoming a Juice Feasting Consultant. I may or may not have mentioned before that my good friend Heather Cunliffe, in partnership with MoLe restaurant, is opening a 100% organic raw food cafe and juice bar downtown Victoria this spring. Well I am going to work for her at the cafe when it opens! This will provide me not only with a part time income that will support my continuing work as an artist and photographer, but it will also give me a social venue to talk with people about healing and health and meet others who are passionate about these things! I'm really excited about this (can you tell?)

Another thing I did this week was sit down and figure out what exactly I want out of life now that I am feeling ready to re-enter the "real" world.

This is what I realized (in order)
1: inspiring, creative, socially responsible work that gives me enough money to
2: move into my own home, an open concept apartment near downtown where I can have a
3: studio, and continue to grow as an artist and photographer, while living a
4: low impact, environmentally aware lifestyle, being an active part of my community
5: and I want to get a dog!!! (this has been a dream my entire life)

That, ladies and gentlemen, is my six month plan. I've been writing out many goals and affirmations (Over 100 in fact!) which I obviously won't bore you with, but this is the gist of what I am going to focus on this spring.

I know this post today is gosh darn long, that's what happens when I wait to write for a few days. There's just so many exciting things to report!

I'm going to leave you with a little movie I shot for your viewing pleasure so that you can all share my "breaking of the feast." What was my first meal you ask? Effectively green blended gloop, yummy! (oh and ummm, sorry for the butt shot, I really don't know why the video froze oh that)



Here's today's picture. I'm sporting a really warm and cozy hat made by my friend Jenny. Thanks Jenny you're the best!



Sending out so much love and happiness to all you lovely people. Thanks for patiently reading about my silly little life. I hope you all have a wonderful week!

“Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.”

“The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”

Thich Nhat Hanh quote