Day 25

Hello Dearest Friends

Today it is a blustery coastal winter day. Ok, no it's not blustery, it's downright stormy. Wet wet wet and miserable. In the spirit of staying "up" I'm trying not to let it get me down. Today I had to take a nap during the day for the first time in months, and I have been going to the sauna almost every day to keep my body warm. I'm not going to lie, some days are darn hard. Some days I want to cram avocados into my mouth, three at a time. Some days I want to give up and scream that this is ridiculous and what am I doing and that it's impossible to be chipper and airy and super duper happy about living off of juice for a month! Phewf...But then, a few minutes later, I feel calm again. And I think about how much better I am than I was a month ago, and I think about how much better I will be in another month. And I take deep breaths and keep going. Because that's all I can do, every other option is crazy making. I read some people's juice blogs and they seem so...zen about this whole process. Well I'm not going to compare, I've had the occasional zen day myself. And then there are the days I'm in yoga trying to sob quietly while great big chunks of painful emotion pull out of my back, Vipassana style. I mean how much sadness can one person store? How much sadness can one privileged, only child, white girl store, really? A lot more than I ever knew, that's how much.

It has been a few days since I wrote anything because nothing hugely momentous has taken place. I still have my cold, but it's getting better day by day. I have been weaning myself back on the juice after about three days of pretty much fasting on water. Yesterday I finally drank almost a gallon again, half of which was green. I certainly notice I have more sustainable energy levels when I get more green into my system, but some days I look at the green stuff and my body just goes, noooooo. My nausea is gone finally and my cough and mucus filled sinuses are clearing bit by bit. My face has also been super dry, probably from all the nose blowing, so I've been soaking up the coconut oil as much as possible.

Is this entry turning you off? I apologize. No wait, I don't. Because I promised honesty about this process and where would you all be if I pretended that everything was easy and then you went and started juice feasting and it got tough and you thought, "wait a second, she had it easy, what's wrong with me?" The truth is processes like this are not easy, and that's okay right? That's maybe even the point. It's that whole, what doesn't kill you bla bla bla thing we've been told for years.

I really am feeling good about going through this. Today is just a hard day. And that's okay, because maybe tomorrow will be an easier day. And hey, I have Hawaii to think about, so no matter how cold it is, that thought will get me through.

Much much love to all you lovelies, especially the ones braving the stormy winter blues. Let's all go listen to Nina, it could always be worse right?

“I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection”
Thomas Paine

Day 22

22 is my lucky number, this must be a magic day. The magic day of snot, because that's what's going on. I talked to David and Katrina Rainoshek yesterday and they assured me that all these symptoms are Great! because it's my body's way of letting go of stored toxins and mucus and all kinds of stuff.

I've been sort of fasting rather than feasting the past couple of days. I haven't been able to stomach the green juices so I'm not pushing it because I don't want to turn myself against them or make myself sick. I have found some great juices to make that I can handle though. The favorites of late are:

Cranberry, orange, lemon, ginger
Strawberry, pineapple, orange, ginger
Persimmon, orange, cranberry, lemon (I am LOVING cranberries)
And young coconut water. Yum!
Also tea with honey. I know it's all rather on the sweet side, but I've been listening to what my body asks for and haven't been overdoing the sweet too much, trusting that my taste for green will return as I get better.

As I go into my fourth week of feasting I'm feeling pretty high energy considering I have all these cold symptoms. I also feel committed to the juice feast and I've begun to wonder if I will be ready to come off in just eight days. I'm thinking I may continue on towards the 60 day mark, which would mean packing the blender and juicing in Hawaii. There are lots of good fruits and coconuts there and I have heard there's a guy who sells organic produce at the Hilo farmers market.

I've also got a game plan for the plane ride that involves a combo of greens plus, bee pollen and spirulina in my carry-on combined with water, lemon and some pasteurized orange juice. Anyways, I haven't decided either way yet, I'm going to continue taking it one day at a time.

One thing I did that helped calm my nausea 2 days ago was drink another psyllium bentonite shake. I felt immediately better and the next day all number of things were purged from my colon. I think I'll probably use this technique again as it seems to help the whole cleansing process.

I've also tried what's called "The Cold Sock Treatment" the past two nights to help relieve fever and mucus congestion. This involves heating your feet up for five minutes, then putting on a pair of ice cold wet socks (I know, I know, just wait) and a pair of wool socks over top. Though this sounds horrible, the amazing thing is your feet warm up really hot pretty quick and by half way through the night the socks are dry. What this does is draw the heat and congestion from the top of your body down, helping you sleep better and pulling the mucus down out of your sinuses. It's an old wives trick, supposedly good to help feverish children sleep and also a good Tylenol replacement.

What else...oh yeah a fun link. There's one site I would like to recommend to you: www.storyofstuff.com Watch the video all the way through, it inspired me to continue to purchase less, buy local and re-use what I already own.

Finally for today: Monday's Stats.

Weight: 140 Lbs (2 more down)
Skin: clearer, still splotchy in areas, a little itchy and dry, but soothed by coconut oil
Energy: 6.5/10 (was probably a 5/10 when I started, a 0.5/10 when I was really sick and 8/10 on the best days so far)
Emotions: fairly fluid, waves still washing through but I feel very clear and focused
Optimism: High!

Here's this week's pic. (I know I cheat by using a softbox, ah well, I'm writing it off to artistic licence) Love to all of you!